As the stirrup queen herself says, “Show and Tell is wasted on elementary schoolers. Join several dozen bloggers weekly to show off an item, tell a story, and get the attention of the class.”
I loves me some show and tell goodness. Today I choose to tell you a story. After you enjoy a libation, I recommend you head off to see what the rest of the class is showing.
You amble up to the bar. She is standing behind the polished stone, towel in her hand delicately caressing its granite top. Her hair is a bit mousey, she could stand to lose a few pounds but her smile seems genuine. You can tell she is glad you’ve broken up her day, a customer -- perhaps a potential friend “Welcome to the Optimist Saloon, pull up a chair. Whadda you having?” she said.
You open your mouth and freeze. Just a squeak of sound escaping your lips. What the flip will you have? What in God’s green earth is left for your choices when you are TTC/mid IUI/hopped up on IVF drugs/during the 2WW/Knocked up?
Coffee = no
Tea = eeeeeehhhhhh no?
Beer = no
Wine = no
Vodka? = c’mon, be serious now
Gin! Tell me I can have a martini! -------- NO!
Your mind is spinning, how to choose? No caffeine, no alcohol, no high-fructose corn syrup, no diet pseudo sugar-like substances. You are sick, sick, sick of just having plain tap water. Hell you even read somewhere on teh intardnets that you can’t even have some herb teas like chamomile. Chamomile? You thought it was safe like puppies and Grammas and hearts written around the name of the boy you like. You sit there staring at her, mouth open and closing like a fish out of water.
She nods slowly, recognition sparks in her pale green eyes. “Ah, you’re trying to have yourself a little baybeh? You can’t bring yourself to drink anything that may be on The Forbidden List. Just in case, right? I know. I’ve been there. Hell I’m there right now. Not to worry, at the Optimist Saloon, we have a special menu for just for us. The best thing is that anyone who visits can tell me their special request and the beverage menu gets updated. It’s like magic!” A page slides out from beneath the bar, you scan the list and…hey! There are some really yummy sounding things on this list and other things you have never heard of. Yeah, it’s true they wont get you sh!tfaced, but they do seem refreshing and flavorful. Some are hot, some are cold, some are even frozen, there are even pictures to help you decide.
IF OPTIMIST SALOON
BEVY OF BABYHOPE BEVERAGES
Bloggidy Twin Spritzer (Sparkling soda with muddled grapefruit peel and spearmint)
Piping hot Roobios Chai (with a kiss of milk & honey)
Chocolate malted Ovaltine surprise
Clare’s Special (Cold Banana Cinnamon Smoothie)
Iced Barley Tea with a sprig of lemon balm
all beverages come with a smile and are ALWAYS free of charge/on the house/gratis
Wow! FREE drinks too?!? You suddenly notice the others sitting in the saloon, mostly women but some men too. All sipping on concoctions that don’t seem like the typical fare. There are smiles and waves and thumbs up going around the room. Some are chatting in corners, others are stealing gentle pats to their bellies and a few are showing off pictures of adorable, much-beloved children.
A cute redhead walks up to the bar while you peruse the menu and says, “Hey IF, can we get a Clare special?” “Sure thing MeKate.” The blender whirrs and crunches, a quick sound of air rushing through a nozzle, a tiny bottle wiggles and the perfume of bananas and cinnamon floods your senses. A luscious tall drink is slid to her. Bendy straw, cinnamon stick and all. She walks the drink back to a table where a dark handsome man is seated. Grrwwooow! She’s a lucky one. He smiles at her as they take turns sipping the spicy cool drink.
“Hey FET, the usual?” FET Accompli nods and picks up some iced barley tea and smiles at you. You look around and it all seems so quenching, both for your thirst and for your soul. These ladies and wonderful guys are just like you and your partner. All wanting a family. All struggling to find their way through each day with grace and humor. All in need to quench their thirst and rest their weary bones with friends, with folks who understand.
A dark haired beauty saunters up to the bar and grins, the bartender smiles back “Evening Liv! What is your fancy today?” “I’ll take a Bloggidy Twin Spritzer” she says. A few ice cubes plink into the glass, a grapefruit is selected, peeled and a few skins thrown in with a couple springs of fresh mint. A muddler is grabbed and pounds away. BAM BOM BOOM! Smells lift from the glass – icy and minty and citrusy. Finally the sizzle of soda tops it off and a cute old jelly jar with a strawberry garnish is handed to the raven-haired beauty. “Thanks” she says. “Any time my friend” replies the bartender who turns back to you and smiles.
“Now honey, thanks for waiting. Any special requests? Do you see something you want from our drink menu? Is there a special drink that you want included in future Bevy lists? Give me the recipe and we’ll make it here at the Optimist Saloon. What strikes your fancy?”