Lemme pour you a tall one

Show and Tell

As the stirrup queen herself says, “Show and Tell is wasted on elementary schoolers. Join several dozen bloggers weekly to show off an item, tell a story, and get the attention of the class.”

I loves me some show and tell goodness.  Today I choose to tell you a story.  After you enjoy a libation, I recommend you head off to see what the rest of the class is showing.


You amble up to the bar.  She is standing behind the polished stone, towel in her hand delicately caressing its granite top.  Her hair is a bit mousey, she could stand to lose a few pounds but her smile seems genuine.  You can tell she is glad you’ve broken up her day, a customer -- perhaps a potential friend “Welcome to the Optimist Saloon, pull up a chair.  Whadda you having?” she said. 

You open your mouth and freeze.  Just a squeak of sound escaping your lips.  What the flip will you have?  What in God’s green earth is left for your choices when you are TTC/mid IUI/hopped up on IVF drugs/during the 2WW/Knocked up?

Coffee = no
Tea = eeeeeehhhhhh no?
Beer = no
Wine = no
Vodka? = c’mon, be serious now
Gin!  Tell me I can have a martini! -------- NO!

Your mind is spinning, how to choose?  No caffeine, no alcohol, no high-fructose corn syrup, no diet pseudo sugar-like substances.  You are sick, sick, sick of just having plain tap water.  Hell you even read somewhere on teh intardnets that you can’t even have some herb teas like chamomile. Chamomile? You thought it was safe like puppies and Grammas and hearts written around the name of the boy you like. You sit there staring at her, mouth open and closing like a fish out of water.

She nods slowly, recognition sparks in her pale green eyes.  “Ah, you’re trying to have yourself a little baybeh?  You can’t bring yourself to drink anything that may be on The Forbidden List.  Just in case, right?  I know.  I’ve been there.  Hell I’m there right now.  Not to worry, at the Optimist Saloon, we have a special menu for just for us.  The best thing is that anyone who visits can tell me their special request and the beverage menu gets updated.  It’s like magic!”  A page slides out from beneath the bar, you scan the list and…hey!  There are some really yummy sounding things on this list and other things you have never heard of.  Yeah, it’s true they wont get you sh!tfaced, but they do seem refreshing and flavorful.  Some are hot, some are cold, some are even frozen, there are even pictures to help you decide. 


Bloggidy Twin Spritzer (Sparkling soda with muddled grapefruit peel and spearmint)
Piping hot Roobios Chai (with a kiss of milk & honey)
Chocolate malted Ovaltine surprise
Clare’s Special (Cold Banana Cinnamon Smoothie)
Iced Barley Tea with a sprig of lemon balm

all beverages come with a smile and are ALWAYS free of charge/on the house/gratis

Wow!  FREE drinks too?!?  You suddenly notice the others sitting in the saloon, mostly women but some men too.  All sipping on concoctions that don’t seem like the typical fare.  There are smiles and waves and thumbs up going around the room.  Some are chatting in corners, others are stealing gentle pats to their bellies and a few are showing off pictures of adorable, much-beloved children.  

SmoothyA cute redhead walks up to the bar while you peruse the menu and says, “Hey IF, can we get a Clare special?”  “Sure thing MeKate.” The blender whirrs and crunches, a quick sound of air rushing through a nozzle, a tiny bottle wiggles and the perfume of bananas and cinnamon floods your senses.  A luscious tall drink is slid to her.  Bendy straw, cinnamon stick and all.  She walks the drink back to a table where a dark handsome man is seated. Grrwwooow!  She’s a lucky one. He smiles at her as they take turns sipping the spicy cool drink.

BarleyTea“Hey FET, the usual?” FET Accompli nods and picks up some iced barley tea and smiles at you. You look around and it all seems so quenching, both for your thirst and for your soul.  These ladies and wonderful guys are just like you and your partner.  All wanting a family.  All struggling to find their way through each day with grace and humor.  All in need to quench their thirst and rest their weary bones with friends, with folks who understand.

BloggidyTwinSpritzerA dark haired beauty saunters up to the bar and grins, the bartender smiles back “Evening Liv!  What is your fancy today?” “I’ll take a Bloggidy Twin Spritzer” she says.  A few ice cubes plink into the glass, a grapefruit is selected, peeled and a few skins thrown in with a couple springs of fresh mint.  A muddler is grabbed and pounds away. BAM BOM BOOM! Smells lift from the glass – icy and minty and citrusy.  Finally the sizzle of soda tops it off and a cute old jelly jar with a strawberry garnish is handed to the raven-haired beauty.  “Thanks” she says.  “Any time my friend” replies the bartender who turns back to you and smiles.

“Now honey, thanks for waiting.  Any special requests?  Do you see something you want from our drink menu?  Is there a special drink that you want included in future Bevy lists?  Give me the recipe and we’ll make it here at the Optimist Saloon. What strikes your fancy?”


19 comments on "Lemme pour you a tall one"

Sunny on July 1, 2009 at 4:19 PM said...

Cute post!

Now I'm off to go make a cold banana cinnamon smoothie...

(And order the DVD of the new Wallace & Gromit movie from the previous post you linked to... DH and I are constantly saying "We'll call him Shawn, ay!")

Mrs. Gamgee on July 1, 2009 at 4:27 PM said...

Awesome post! If you could come up with something pineapple-y and icy for me, that would be smurf-tacular!

Btw, you were pretty close with the translation! I'm giving you 5 hobbit points for getting two out of the four Canadian terms right! I will post the translation on Friday. :)

'Murgdan' on July 1, 2009 at 4:44 PM said...

Uh. YUM! I'm pulling up a chair. Those sound great!

Kymberli on July 1, 2009 at 4:49 PM said...

My stomach -- it's growling. One of those spritzers would be quite loverly. Thanks!

(hah - "intardnets")

Kristin on July 1, 2009 at 5:01 PM said...

What a cool post! Those drinks sound simply delish!

Cara on July 1, 2009 at 5:08 PM said...

Ifing or not...the drinks look so wonderful for summer. I am totally trying the cinnamon smoothie!

The Steadfast Warrior on July 1, 2009 at 5:10 PM said...

Can I get one of those spritzers? Sounds fab right about now. Had myself a virgin raspberry margarita the other day but alas, it wasn't the same with good 'ole tequila.

If you want to add something fun, how about a classic Root Beer float? Many rootbeers don't have caffeine...

Photogrl on July 1, 2009 at 6:17 PM said...


They all sound good!

mekate on July 1, 2009 at 7:55 PM said...

in every way!
Thanks sweetie for the luscious drink, and
the super Haiku.

FET Accompli on July 1, 2009 at 7:57 PM said...

Delicious! I'll have the usual - iced barley tea, please :-)

And to answer your question - let me just take another sip (yummmy)- about 163 days to go!

Billy on July 1, 2009 at 9:34 PM said...

Great drinks! For me, a Bloggidy Twin Spritzer.

BTW, I heard that mint is not good for pregnant women (really, what is left???).

WiseGuy on July 2, 2009 at 12:25 AM said...

Lovely Post!

An Iced Tea for me, please! Peach flavour would be nice.

Clare on July 2, 2009 at 2:38 AM said...

Great post - we so need a good list of yummy drinks when going thru the TWW. Gonna try your bloggidy twin spritzer. May I suggest another? It's simple but there is a tiny eeeny weeeny smidgen of alcohol but it's so small that I drank it all the time as a kid - really it's nothing much at all. Ginger beer or ginger ale whatever you prefer... (is there a difference?) lots of ice and then (this is what makes it special) a few drops of angostura's bitters - this has to be one of the most refreshing drinks ever!

IF Optimist, then... on July 2, 2009 at 9:00 AM said...

I'm loving these new ideas and all the fabulous comments so far. I had fun making the post Thanks so much. I'll make a linky with a Bevy list, ingredients and instructions soon.

One Who Understands on July 2, 2009 at 12:54 PM said...

Love it, love it, love it!

becomingwhole on July 2, 2009 at 1:13 PM said...

wow, those look great! I'm suddenly very thirsty...

Parenthood For Me on July 2, 2009 at 4:19 PM said...

Great drinks- bottoms up!

Phoebe on July 2, 2009 at 9:55 PM said...

My list sounds like your list, except barley is out for me. My bar drinks are mainly veggie juice these days. That's why I have no time to blog anymore, cuz I'm too damn busy juicing!!

sunflowerchilde on July 3, 2009 at 10:25 AM said...

Some of those drinks look REALLY yummy. Here's one I've been making lately (the lazy way) - To a glass of milk, add one spoon of instant decaf coffee and one spoon of nesquick chocolate powder. It's a bit like an iced mocha. Yum!


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