Countoff Days 3, 2, 1 – Previa Problems

To be totally honest, I had an episode of bleeding over the weekend that DrGav told me to expect.  After the ultrasound in the hospital, they found a pocket of blood and clots just behind my internal os.  His opinion is this is due to my placenta previa moving.  After his diagnosis and letting me know it would happen, about 8 hours later I bled red with clots and then brown spotting and then after a day it stopped.  “OK” I thought, “Good riddance, now I’m done with it.”  They are now classifying this now as a partial previa.  I guess if I am lucky it may move entirely away from my cervix and all bleeding will stop. 

Day 3 was uneventful really.  I just relaxed, watched some TV and did a little writing.  So boring, that I decided to combine it with another day, but that ended up being complicated.

On Day 2 the morning and afternoon were a little dull.  I put myself on a fairly strict bed rest because I had my 2nd class for the Labor and Birth Preparation Multiples in the evening.  I went to the class, it included a little more of the same lame DVD, but it did cover a few things I found somewhat useful in talking about hospital intervention and pain medication policy.  Instead of the 2.5 hours it took, I could have just read it in a FAQ and asked about 2 questions, but that’s just me.  I was uncomfortable and eventually tired and cranky.  I just wanted to go home.  A few hours after I got home, I started to feel crampy and even had a couple of strong contractions.  I went to bed, laying on my left side and drank a couple of glasses of water.  Every hour after midnight I would have a couple of contractions, not enough to go to the hospital, but enough to concern us. I could feel both babies squirming away, with the one on the bottom really having an acrobatic circus in there. Finally at 4:30 am I had some bleeding, it was same as the weekend and after that and since all contractions have gone away. 

I called my ObDoc first thing in the morning on Day 1, they got in touch with DrGav’s office and I was in for an ultrasound in the early afternoon.  The ultrasound confirmed both babies seemed to be doing fine, had nice strong heartbeats.  Placentas seemed fine too and the lower one was moving some more.  A new clot and amount of blood was sitting behind the cerclage stitch (it was still holding strong) but it does make an environment where blood can pool and then clot.  If there is enough to irritate the uterus, that is what cause the contractions.  I am back on medication to prevent contractions and hopefully this bleeding will stop soon.  DrGav will see me again on Tuesday and said that if he sees any more bleeding that makes him concerned, he will check me into the hospital just in case.  He congratulated me for getting to week 24, but reminded me that these next few weeks are critical for the babies.

I didn’t want to just write about doom and gloom and worry.   I didn’t want to keep my mind in that place, so I just skipped blogging and reading.  I found that this doesn’t really work.  I miss giving and getting support.  I’m glad I finished my first important countdown.  I am happy I have made it at least to week 24, but the worry will continue to be with me for many weeks to come.  I will take things extra extra super easy.  I put myself on modified bedrest, I stay on the couch all day until MrBeep gets home.  I am alone most all of my waking hours and I am so lonely sometimes. It’s hard not to dwell on fear and problems and worry.  I try to keep positive and optimistic. I talk to the grrl monsters when they are wiggling around, I let them know how hard I am trying to keep them safe. Now only 14 more weeks to go. ;-) As the universe continues to spin and time ticks forward, I will see each day as a blessing, each week as a triumph. 

Countoff Day 4 – Labor & Birth Multiples Class

Most of my Day 4 was spent going through some film logging business with the movie I had been working on back in Oct. and Nov.  I was a bit frustrated with communication problems and technical difficulties but I guess it’s a good thing because many hours zoomed past.  I also took care of some bill and insurance stuff, not exciting, but strangely enough I liked marking a few things off my to do list for the day.  All of this was easily done from a reclining position, I promised myself that I would take things extremely easy and am doing OK so far. I’m feeling great, babies seem to be happily jostling around. 

I saved a lot of energy because this evening was our first class offered by the hospital.  It’s official name “Labor and Birth Preparation – Multiples”.  It’s a two hour class held on 3 days – Monday (3/1), Wednesday (3/3) and Monday (3/8).  Did I find the class useful…eh…not so far.  Seems like if they require you to be at least 5-6 months along, its a waste of time to explain to us what twins are, fraternal vs. identical, etc.  Honestly this is the “basics” class, so I will be a bit more patient.  The next class should cover more specific stuff about this hospital’s rules on pain medication, intervention, etc.  They showed a bit of a lame DVD and the documentarian side of my brain kept going over about a thousand different ways I could have made the video more useful. I opted out of “floor exercises” which consisted of laying on your side and breathing slowly for 5 minutes.  I will note that they had the least comfortable chairs in the world to sit in and my preggo ass was turning quite numb despite having to move and slide and jostle for any position that would seem OK for more than 10 minutes.

I look forward tomorrow to catching up on blogs, until then I feel a stranger in a strange land.

Countoff Day 8 & 7 – In the hospital

Day 8:  Well, I was really excited about Day 8 and was going to write all about it.  The weather was gorgeous in Seattle, I had a friend call and invite me out for lunch.  She drove and we had a great time, nice conversation and excellent fried calamari with a site of hummus and pita bread.  We came home and I relaxed laying on the couch for a couple of hours.  I was invited out to dinner at a local pub with 6 friends and since I was feeling fine and given the green light by the docs I went along.

Bad move.

I ate, laughed, and generally felt fine.  I will say that the wooden chair I was sitting on was uncomfortable after a while.  I got up after about an hour to use the bathroom and there it was…pink on the TP.  Dangit.  No problem, I thought, I’ll just call it an evening.  Dinner was over we were all just hanging around and chatting anyway.

So I got my hugs, excused myself and drove the 2 miles home.  No big deal.  When I got in the door, I felt a wetness and headed straight to the bathroom.  More pink, now redder and things were…wet.  Too wet,  Not a lot, not a gush, but something very unusual.  I went straight to bed, lay down on my left side and called my ObDoc’s office.  My doc was on call, I explained what was going on.  I let her know that I didn’t feel any more wetness since the initial event but needed advice.  She told me to get myself to labor and delivery.  MrBeep came home about 20 minutes later and off to the hospital we went.  I could feel my little sweetie monsters squirming around, we got their heartbeats so I knew that for now they were doing fine. My ObDoc was the one to take care of my examination, take a sample and check the slide.  She couldn’t find any conclusive evidence in the sample that there was any amniotic fluid leakage, but she didn’t like the description of the event or how much blood and moisture she saw.  I was monitored for contractions all night and only had one or two after the pelvic.  I was admitted for getting IV anitbiotics and monitoring.  MrBeep stayed with me the whole time, took care of my every need.  He held my hand, kissed my forehead and helped me make it through the night.  I was so scared that a membrane had ruptured, but there was no evidence of any other leakage.  Both my ObDoc and the L&D nurses said that this was a very good sign.

Day 7:  MrBeep slept in the little bed next to me in a labor and delivery suite.  Today I’ve had no additional leakage or watery bizarreness.  I’ve had no contractions all day.  I had barely any spotting.  I’ve received doses of IV antibiotics (just in case) and was supposed to get an ultrasound to check the fluid levels of the babies to see if that would show any evidence of leakage.  Unfortunately, there was some mix up and I will get that scan tomorrow.  I talked with the TopDoc from my MFM clinic.  He apologized for the ultrasound mix up but suggested another day for observation and antibiotics was pretty standard given the fact that I am only at 23 weeks.  He did say that he felt very good that there was no other episodes after the first report, that the sample slide didn’t show anything to indicate amniotic fluid and he felt it would be extraordinarily unusual to rupture a membrane behind a cerclage that was looking good the day before.  After speaking with him, I felt about a thousand percent better.  This entire episode may just be another bizarre result of the previa.  Everyone (ObDoc, TopDoc, L&D nurses, MrBeep) has told me that this unusual thing was not my fault and that I didn’t do anything wrong to cause it, but man…it is very hard to let go of that guilt and worry.

I will be seen on Saturday (day 6) by DrGav who will take a look with ultrasound see if everything is looking good.  If so, then I will be discharged from hospital.  MrBeep needed my computer for work, so I was unable to read or update.  He put several hours of the Olympics we recorded on Tivo to DVD, so we watched them together.  I will try to catch up and update tomorrow.  The most important thing is the babies are fine, I am fine. A couple of more days down and more lessons learned the hard way.

Countoff Day 9 –Dr Appts & Photo Challenge

Good news!  I went to both DrGav and my ObDoc today.  First the Peri/MFM appointment:  The cervix check shows all is looking great, staying a steady 3.5 cm and the cerclage is still looking good.  Both grrl monsters had good heart rates and bloodflow.  I have been taken off my medication and don’t need to come back for 2 weeks (where I will get my 24 week growth ultrasound).  His take on my Friday achiness and spotting is that it is nothing to be worried about.  Then I went to my ObDoc  for a routine check.  Blood pressure, pee in a cup, weight check , and doppler.  Wiggles kicked the doppler when the nurse was trying to get a reading.  We both laughed.  My awesome ObDoc arrived all smiles. I got an internal pelvic exam **YOWCH!** where she proclaimed things seemed long and were holding well.  When I told her about my Friday scare she was a little more concerned.  She told me if I begin to feel uncomfortable to lay down on my left side, drink some water and take things easy.  If things don’t seem to get better after an hour to call them.  She said that the next 7 weeks were really critical and she’d rather know that I am resting easily at home with some liberties rather than being a “long term guest” at the hospital.  I completely agree.  All in all very good results, maybe I spooked myself a bit, but I’d rather be cautious than sorry.  It is just another thing that will really help me make it through the rest of my countdown.

And now for something completely different…I had an idea for this week’s Photo Challenge, so I pulled out my fab macro lens. 

Photo Challenge this week's theme: WHAT IS IT?

Take a guess about what this photograph is.  To see a larger version, click on the pic.  My only hint is that it is more than what you think at first glance. I'll post the answer Friday with the other folks who took the challenge. I’m horrible at guessing but found it a fun little inspiration for photography.  Rotten – why aren’t you getting into the challenge!  C’mon!

(The Photo Challenge aims to allow creative ways to explore a weekly theme through photography).  The Weekly Photo Challenge is brought to you by The Steadfast Warrior (aka Lindsay) who also gave me this advice for dealing with my fears:

The reality is, you've got a lot going on and it's okay to be scared, hell if you weren't terrified a little, I'd think you were in denial. The only advice I have is to take solace in the movements and the special moments that come up.

She also said a little extra to warm my heart and offered a present to dry my eyes:

You are a lovely and strong woman. You and the Monsters WILL be okay. I can keep repeating it if you like? ;) (HUGS) to you, since sometimes that is what we need the most. I've left a little present for you at my blog…

Her gift was an absolutely stunning photograph taken from her balcony in beautiful Vancouver, BC.  You have to go over and see it.  I saved it as my desktop wallpaper for this 10 day countdown.  Every time my computer boots up I see it and smile.  Lindsay has a little girl, born just a little while ago, she is taking things one day at a time and writes with such honesty that I feel truly privileged to read and support her.  Thanks so much Lindsay.

I ended my Day 9 with “Weekly Series Night” – a special evening MrBeep and I spend with friends watching though a TV series together.  We finished watching The Venture Brothers – Season 3.  It was also really fun to have some company, laugh and joke around.  I love counting off a great day.

Countoff Day 10 - Superawesomethanksalot

I wanted to thank you all so very much for all of the wonderful support and advice I received from my prior post, “Overwhelming Fear.”  I don’t like it that many of you also have had to cope with this awful consuming fear, but I was glad to know that I am not alone and for many of you who had problems during your 2nd trimester that you are just a few days or weeks away from meeting your sons and daughters very close or at full term.  It gives me so much hope to know that you’ve made it so far despite the bedrest and irritable uterus mayhem and uncooperative cervixes. 

When I hit last Friday and had a bad day, it really struck me as so hard and unfair and well…you read about it.  Because of my two surgeries to remove the big fibroid, carrying to term has been something in the back of my mind that has always made me extra nervous.  I’ve had a half-dozen awesome OB/GYNs assure me that it’s no big deal, the surgery was a great success and everything looks really good, but still…I get scared and doubt fills me until it all bubbles over into a freakout.  Then I am a little better afterward.  I am feeling better because of the rest I took and because of the encouragement and support I received from you all and my best friend MrBeep.

After my emergency cerclage at 18 weeks I had made a countdown ticker on my igoogle home page.  Setting the goal date to my due date was just too far away, so I set the countdown for 24 weeks.  My new big goal, make it to viability and then set a new goal.  It is much easier to take in manageable chunks.  Today my ticker said “10 days until viability,” I’ve decided to do 10 posts in 10 days to help me get through it.  I’m taking all of your excellent advice along the way.  I promise to give you props when your special countdown advice day hits. ;-)

Today I wanted spotlight K at Waiting for Sunflower who wrote this advice:

“How do I cope? I literally tell myself one day at a time. I have a lilypie counter and each day that passes is a victory. It's a countdown to the end of the week.  I cannot look at the end, I look at it in weekly increments.”

Also Sunny in Seattle, who is holding in there with much stricter bedrest demands than whiney ole me said:

Milestones are nice, but I also try to appreciate every day for what it is. I know you aren't quite at viability yet, but when you get there, every day you stay pregnant is worth TWO days less in the NICU. My boys…are strong, they are fighters, and we ARE all going to get through this.

Hitting Day 10 inspired me to take the advice about and really focus on each good day at a time. I spent resting for most of the day.  I re-read all of your excellent comments on my post aloud to the grrl monsters, we are all touched and I cried a few tears of appreciation, they wiggled their approval.  I’ve been watching the series Ballykissangel on Netflix Watch Instantly and have finished Season 1.  Today I started Season 2.  I ordered some things online to help with organization that I can do while on the couch (Yay nesting fantasies!).  I finished off some web design work that made me some extra dough.  I made my meals, washed the dishes (well, put them in the dishwasher), played gems swap II on face.book, planned a girls movie night at my house for some time in the next couple of weeks.  I’ve got to say that Day 10 went well.  Keeping busy but not physically overdoing anything really helped my day.

I get to go to two separate doctors appointments tomorrow, one with my Perinatologist, DrGav for a cervix check and amniotic fluid update, then straight off to my ObDoc for a routine checkup. I’ll talk to them about my bad day on Friday. I hope to get some good news to set my mind at ease.  Already I am looking forward to Day 9.  Stay tuned…