Recently, I decided it was important for me to start a blog about my journey to hopefully, one day have a family. When I started to think about what I wanted to accomplish with it, I had two main goals. The first was to provide a safe place where I could express my thoughts and emotions. The second was to provide a few links and information on topics I found difficult to research on my own.
Yes yes, but why specifically did I chose the title “IF Optimist, then…”
In computer programming, one basic rule is called a conditional programming. You set a rule:
IF “x” happens, THEN do “y”.
I liked choosing “if, then” for both the computer geek connection and also because if = infertility. Here is a little description from the wikipedia article link above.
if-then construct (sometimes called
if-then-else) is common across many programming languages. Although the syntax varies quite a bit from language to language, the basic structure (in pseudocode form) looks like this:
I also chose “IF Optimist, then…” because I needed to be optimistic about this journey. I may be fortunate enough to be rewarded with a marvelous gift if I am lucky. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that mere optimism or happy thoughts will get you pregnant and the typical “just relax” advice is kind of bullshit. No amount of relaxing was going to magically remove the tumor from my uterus. OK? That being said, I still wanted to view this unfortunate process in an optimistic way to help keep me sane. I find this a difficult and nerve-wracking time. I think everything you can do to set your mind at ease is of great benefit. I can’t change all of the negative statistics, frightening medicines with their side effects, or the costs that make me feel sick to my stomach. I can, however, choose to keep my mind in a place of hope.