♥ Welcome babies! Mommy loves you. ♥

Hello my friends.  I am sorry that I haven’t been able to write, but it was a crazy week.  I went into the hospital on Sunday with contractions and our babies were born Monday, April 12, 2010 at 10:31 am and 10: 34 am. :-)  I will not go into all of the details of what happened in this post.  I just want to celebrate that they are here, very healthy and are growing and improving every day.  I have been able to hold and snuggle each one of them, they are perfect and precious, but are just wee little babes who will need some support and time to grow.

MrBeep has been incredible.  Through everything, no matter how scary, he was my rock.  He went with the babies, on my request, and stayed with them while they were being tended to by the NICU staff.  He came back to the OR, kissed me and told me everything I needed to know.  He comforted me during the worst of the storm.  I will be forever grateful for his love, strength and kindness.

I'm doing very good. Physically I did excellent with the emergency c-section and while I am a little tired, my pain levels are low and I can walk around, get up, etc. without much discomfort. I have only taken a few ibuprofen a day, no need for anything stronger. I'm not trying to be superwoman, I just am not in much pain. 

The wee babes are doing very well (all things considered).  They are 100% breathing on their own without any support. Their IVs will be out tomorrow. They will also be on 100% breast milk by tomorrow. The NICU staff started them with just colostrum and IV fluids, eventually transitioning to all mothers milk.  They increase the milk every day and decreasing the other fluids. They are tolerating the milk in their tummies just fine.  They are adding weight and we hope will continue to grow and do better every day.

They were both born at 17" long. One was 3 lbs 3 oz at birth and the other was 3 lbs 5 oz at birth. They were officially at 29 weeks and 3 days. We've got a lot of growing and developing to do, but will take each day at a time until it is time to go home.  We don’t have names picked out just yet, but have narrowed the list quit a lot and should have their names picked out this week.  For now, we still just call them Wiggles and Pip.

The neonatologist doctors at the hospital tell us they are doing great, the nurses too.  Docs said to estimate that they will go home around their due date, this should be mid-June.  Keep us in your good thoughts and prayers. Thank you for checking on me.  I would get a few updates on my phone, but had no easy way to communicate in the hospital.  Here are a couple of photos and video.  My little girls have sweet faces, adorable expressions, and big blue eyes. 

 
Baby A – aka “Wiggles” she looks just like her Daddy’s baby photos.  She has his nose.

 
Baby B – aka “Pip” looks like her Mommy’s baby photos.  She has my nose (poor kid)

Some times I just pour tears of relief and joy when I watch them.  Like sunshine through the clouds on a stormy day, they swell my heart until I feel I may burst with overwhelming love.  The universe has so much in store, we never know how our lives unfold, but today I thank the universe for my sweetie love girls and my wonderful MrBeep.

28w3d - Good golly growing babies Batman!

Thank you all for checking on me.  I am out of my routine (with my babysitters hovering) and am trying to set aside time for writing and reading and commenting.  Also, I’ve been lying low for the last week or so.  Skulking around and just relaxing, trying to make it to 28 weeks and I did it.  I’m so happy about that.  Getting through the goals you set in your mind gives such a great sense of forward momentum, that you are doing something right (even if that thing is just laying on a bed, being a lame lazyass). 

My first goal was 12 weeks (I’m sure many have been there or are getting there).  It went by slowly then quickly.  Strange bursts of time that surprise you when viewing a calendar, then sometimes days that seem to go on forever.  The next goal was 16 weeks, just because it was another month down and I could get amnio and results to help set my mind at ease.  I was so fortunate to finally get good results and know that I’ve got two little grrl monsters baking away.  I made my next mental goal to be 20 weeks.  I had a tough and frightening time of that with the emergency cerclage, but in the end realized just how fortunate I was to have it caught just in the nick of time.  The next mental goal of 24 weeks was really tough and scary.  There were hospital visits and bleeding and so much time spent alone with my nightmarish thoughts.  That was the worse of it all, but I got through it.  It’s interesting because we all have that “24 weeks = viability” idea stuck in our heads. 

DrGav once told me at 23w while I was leaving the hospital, “Traci, we have a way to go, you need to rest, be a princess on the couch.  It’s against my DNA to deliver babies before 28 weeks.”  My ObDoc pretty much echoed the same thing.  28 weeks was their mental goal for a minimum time for babies, not 24.  I understood why they would know this so much better than me.  They’ve seen the difference.  I made 28 weeks my next firm goal.  We got my rotating shift of babysitters and I have kept very strict to my bedrest.  Last week I saw DrGav at 27w6d for an office visit, he came to my exam room dressed in scrubs, he seemed very concerned and a little grim.  He let me know that I was doing fine, the cerclage was holding and the babies were looking good, although their amniotic fluid was still a little high.  He told me what medicine to take to help and then he said, “OK Traci.  Congratulations on making it to 28 weeks.  You’re doing a great job, please keep up the good work.  I’ve got to go now, wish me luck.  I have to run off to deliver a baby that is only at 25 weeks.”  My heart dropped into an abyss for that woman.  I looked at DrGav and could tell he was genuinely sad and worried.  I gave him a hug and wished him luck.  He accepted the hug and squeezed my hands and he was off.

Hitting the 28 week mark has taken a great burden of despair and worry from my mind.  Also much of my physical pain and crampiness has been gone for a couple of weeks.  Finally another bit of encouraging news came today at my growth ultrasound.  The babies measured 3 lbs 5oz and 3 lbs 6 oz.  They are in the 90th percentile for growth and while some of this may be due to my gestational diabetes, a lot is also from sticking to the high protein twins diet the clinic has me on.  I am still a little underweight (at 28 weeks, I have only gained about 20 lbs) but DrGav said not to worry abou6t this because the high protein and the babies size is more important than just weight gain.  We also were able to see and measure the grrls practicing breathing.  Each one gets the hiccups from time to time.  These are all good indicators of their progress and pushes me to believe that soon this will be over and I’ll have a crazy time keeping up with crying and feeding and nappies and cuddles.

I have made my next goal 31 weeks (3 weeks away instead of 4), then 34w (DrGav’s next goal) and finally 37w (aka “full term”).  I’ll take any, but I hope for all.  Sending out much love to all of you watching clocks and calendars.  I love to cheer when we reach milestones.   WOOOOOOOOOT!

I ♥ My Superior Geek Skillz

I’m back!!!  I actually sat on my couch with my tea service tray on my lap, my computer repair toolbox next to me and took apart my laptop.  I suspected that the water spill totally killed my trackpad and caused the problem where I couldn’t boot up any more.  The BIOS had no option to disable the trackpad via that method, so I wanted to try to manually disconnect the flex circuit from the motherboard and try that.  I figured, “Hey, I’ve got nothing to lose at this point.” 

I would have just bought another laptop at any other time (my current one is about 6 years old), but I wanted to “get my geek on” and I have a really specific laptop in mind to replace this old one.  It will have the next leap in CPU technology with a quad-core processor (instead of the current dual-core).  This will allow me to do both digital photography and advanced video and editing with my laptop.  I can only do this on my big horking desktop right now.  I spilled the water on this laptop in early March and the next gen laptop is rumored to come out in April or May 2010. 

Getting to the trackpad connection was a total bitch. I had to remove all screws (except for those that hold the screen together), disconnect the screen from the motherboard and chassis, remove all peripherals (optical drive, RAM, hard drive, and wifi card), remove all plastic covers, doors, disconnect and reroute all internal wires and cables.  Luckily I had another laptop with a schematic of the internals nearby.  I took a good forty minutes to get the danged thing apart when finally I disconnected the flex cable leading from the trackpad to the motherboard.  *WHEW*

Next it took another forty minutes to get the blasted thing put together again.  I left a few panels off, didn’t finish tightening all the screws (a computer nerd’s Hail Mary trick), plugged it in and hit the exposed ON button at the top of the circuit board

THE LAPTOP BOOTED RIGHT UP!  I logged in to my account, got on the network, checked a few pages on the internet, then shut down.  YAY!!!!  I finished assembling all the final pieces, had MrBeep get a trackball mouse from the other room and voila, I am back in the virtual world.  Now I can check DrGoogle all I want, watch my netflix stuff, get a little facebook amusement, play games, and most importantly, post and keep up with the ALI community.  Me = Happycamper.

I talked to the grrrl monsters all the way through the process.  There were kicking around and jostling the tea tray with the parts in response.  I will absolutely teach them how to troubleshoot and repair computers when they grow up. Girl Geeks Unite!

This week’s things that made me happy

Today is 25w2d.  Getting to 25 weeks makes me happy, another week down, only 13 more to go.

I get to feel both grrl monsters squirming around every day, sometimes they react to sounds.  I find that really neat.  They have kicked MrBeep in the back a few times when we lay down for bedtime.  We both giggle at this.

I have been able to run a few errands this week without pain, cramping or bleeding. 

I played games with my friends on Friday. 

I’m happy to know that Lisa at Meinsideout is cuddling her little ones, Sunny has made it to 35 weeks, K at Waiting for Sunflower made 32 weeks and is buying goodies for baby, Kate at Impatiently Waiting has good reason to be impatient at 41w2d, Mo had a great retrieval with many embryos going strong, Rotten and JJ get to have fun at a birthday party.  Whew!  A good week.

I received my fabulous new socks from the 2010 Sock It To Me!  I will do a full post later this week with pictures too.

I got to take my MIL and FIL to my 24 week growth ultrasound.  They were ecstatic.  MrBeep is an only child, these will be their only shot at grandkids.  The excitement and love is really fun to be around.

The 24 growth scan went great, and here are a few pics to round of the end of a week of things that made me happy.

   The belly view at 25 weeks.

Baby A (Wiggles)                     and                            Baby B (Pip)

I also got the very first opportunity for the 3D scan to work while their hands weren’t obscuring their faces.  Seeing these images really surprised me.  It just made me so happy. 

Baby A (Wiggles)                     and                            Baby B (Pip)

You’re doing good my little grrl monsters.  Happy and squirmy and bouncy and warm.  Stay in safe and sound for as long as you can.  Grow and grow.  Mommy hopes to see you both in 3 months.

I’m sending good thoughts and wishes to mekate for her scan tomorrow and Sprogblogger for her checkup too.  Also giving a gentle hug to One Who Understands who has OHSS but is on the mend.  Now it’s time to go off to bed and meditate on good things, keeping my heart in a place of joy and peace.

Countoff Day 6 - Released from Hospital AOK

Day 6 isn't done yet, but I wanted to post an update.  We took a look at the grrl monsters via ultrasound and both babies and sacs are perfectly normal. Both have plenty of fluid, I haven't had any other bad spells since Thursday night.  DrGav did the ultrasound and saw a blood clot behind the internal os of the cervix.  He thinks this may have caused the bleeding and watery leakage because some clots as they are compressed can express excess water and plasma.  I know, eww gross TMI.  Also the previa is still moving and created a pocket for that clot and liquid to pool.  Hopefully it will be gone soon (damned pesky thing). DrGav did emphasize that the next 5 weeks are really critical for the babies, so I will take it VERY EASY.  MrBeep is a happy grinning little sweetie.  I am overjoyed.  

More on day 6 later. :-)

2 Monster Scoops – The Big Reveal

It has taken sooooooooo long to get all of the results from amnio, but I’ll explain about that later.  The most important thing is that they are both healthy with no known issues.  I can’t express how relieved I am, how much of a heavy weight has held my heart down.  Now my heart is light and full of joy.

So now the Big Reveal…I posted a poll to see if you could guess the gender of the monsters. 

The poll question was: 
What flavor are the monsters?

A:   Strawberry (2 girls)
B:   Boysenberry (2 boys)
C:   A scoop of each (1 boy, 1 girl)

Did you guess correctly?
Can you tell from the photo?
Give up yet?

Yes, that my friends is two scoops of STRAWBERRY ice cream.  We are pregnant with two little girls, or as I call them “Grrrl Monsters”.

We had a great appointment at the MFM for my 20 week ultrasound.  They are measuring in the 70th percentile, way up from a month ago’s 40th percentile.  Their weight is estimated at 14 ounces. Here are the latest ultrasound pics

For more good news, I have been taken off of bed rest!  The cervix is looking good and closed at about 3.1 cm. The previa continues to migrate away from the cervix but we aren’t done yet. I’ve had no cramping or bleeding or complications.  I am still advised to take it easy, but at least I can sit up, use a chair, cook dinner, run a couple of errands if I need to.  DrGav told me to use good judgment and try to stay off my feet as much as possible.  I go back again for another quick check in a week and then I may get to every other week afterwards. 

mekate asked if there were going to be any belly shots.  I have decided to post, but I have to say that I am normally apple shaped and big breasted too.  As an added bonus these two have surely blossomed that into a OMG I’M HUGE! situation. 

Twin B “Pip” is currently laying sideways across the top and is and making the belly extra huge.  I am happy about this, but was a little shocked when I saw the photo myself. :-)

I’m just so happy right now because there is really a lot of great news this week with many of my bloggidy friends. 

Oh, and the strawberry ice cream?

The best I have ever ate.

OXXO to you all – Traci aka “IF Optimist”.

Photo Challenge #2: Variety

He he.  Was able to sneak downstairs for about 10 minutes to grab a photo from the big computer for this week’s challenge.  This is my favorite fish store at Pike Place Market in Seattle, Pure Food Fish Market.  The seafood is all so fresh, it smells like the briny sea and all eyes that watch you are bright and clear.  When I want the best in variety and quality to make Ciopinno, I head here.  If you are ever visiting in Seattle, they can prep some fish covered in ice in a leak-proof cooler to take home on the plane.  Oh, I can’t wait until Sockeye Salmon is back fresh in season.  Mmmmmmmmmmm.

 The Pure Food Fish Market in Seattle, WA, USA

To see the picture in greater detail, just click on the photo.  I love that our pal Lindsay, the Steadfast Warrior set up the weekly photo challenge.  Being stuck on the couch for now, it will be tough to get new shots (depending on the theme), but I can go and dig through my archives and this makes me very happy indeed.  Now head on over and check out the other fab photos that are being shared.

18w2d – Little things that bring sunshine

Well, what can I say. Ummmmmm. I’m still here. I’m at 18w2d. Monsters are still here.  Cervix measured well on Monday, still closed and long. I had a little brown spotting for the week, but we suspect this may be the old blood clot from the big bleed finally moving through the cervical os and on its way outta here. (Good riddance.) It was very strange to be far enough along that while I spotted, I didn’t have a lot of anxiety or fear attached to it.

Still waiting on the final results for the amnio.  Not terribly stressed, but it will be nice to have closure on that too.  I want to tell my grandparents and SIL and nephews and niece, but am waiting the extra week to know if it is all OK.  I mean, I can wait a freaking week, right?

It’s funny how at this stage in pregnancy I am glad, but I don’t allow myself to get overly confident or excited.  I am beginning to dream of nursery and baby item shopping, but it is too early.  I want to shout HOORAY but am waiting for 24 weeks, or 28 weeks before I feel I can really take that a breath deep enough in order to shout.  My “miscarriage signs” Google searches are now changing to “pre-term labor signs” or “incompetent cervix,” but every now and then it all swings 180°and I am suddenly looking and watching videos on double strollers and thinking things like “How in the hell can I carry two infant car seats at the same time?  I will need arms like She Hulk.” And then I stop and really think, “actually I wouldn’t mind looking like She Hulk.”

I feel little twinges and flutters every now and then, but it is very subtle.  90% of the time I don’t feel anything at all. I generally have to lay down on my side and get very calm and still.  When I focus my mind, I can feel if they move.  Other times I just lay there like a lump and eventually fall asleep because I can’t feel a thing and horizontal = naptime. Every now and then I get distinct movement and it’s like sunshine streamed on my heart.  I was sitting in the park this week, near the waterfront.  I had bought a gyro sandwich and was munching down on a bench with a fabulous view of the water and the boats and Seattle across the lake.  All of a sudden I felt Wiggles and Pips (our not-so official names for the monsters) squirming around.  I sent MrBeep a text message saying “The monsters really like love gyro sandwich with onions.”  He was happy all day and gave me lots of kisses and belly pats when he came home.  He lurves gyro sandwiches.

Sending you a little of my sunshine for your hearts too, whether they be filled with sorrow, or filled with joy or filled with hope.  We all need that sunshine some days.