IF Optimist, then...

I am so overwhelmingly glad to hear your true voic...

2012-03-27T07:29:12.976-07:00

I am so overwhelmingly glad to hear your true voice here! And I'm glad your forgive yourself, because it is SO easy to beat yourself up over the things that something you just can't see or simply lose control over. PPD was one of the hardest things to tackle after struggling to be happy and hopeful about my third pregnancy.

The truth is that depression still clings to me quite fiercely and there are days I just can't be bothered with much of anything, despite the fact that there are people who depend on me. It's always a battle.

Know this… you are NOT less because you lost your voice for a time, but you become more when you find it again. You also may not have perfect records of the moments in time, but the person you are now can still look back on those moments and document them from your current perspective. There is nothing wrong with that.

I look forward to reading you in your new digs. :)

Great post - I'll be excited to see your new b...

2012-03-26T20:08:18.365-07:00

Great post - I'll be excited to see your new blog and read more about your life. Missed you, though I can certainly understand why you haven't been posting.
I use my blog as my journal to keep track of things, and if people want to read, great. If not, I'll still have a record of all that's gone on. My posts may not be well-written and eloquent, but they're good enough for me!

I look forward to reading more from you, in whatev...

2012-03-26T11:57:58.598-07:00

I look forward to reading more from you, in whatever forum. I'm sorry we missed out on supporting you through those tough times, I do wish I had known. But what is is what is, so let's look forward to laughing and crying about those toddler years together.

"who finally got the family she had been wait...

2012-03-26T00:04:33.135-07:00

"who finally got the family she had been waiting and hoping for and then have most of her new posts be depression and whining about how hard everything was and how alone she feels all the time."

In that case you are not alone...having crossed over, I am having my own issues with my new life.

But remember, talking about the depression does not mean we are ready to exchange our new status for anything. It has been such a hard-fought battle, that there is no other reality I want. Or you would want.

You were parenting multiples, and that increased your stress. As I can see there were other factors too...it is okay....you have to now ensure you don't lose anymore time...

I am sorry. I never figured out how hard life was for you. I only saw happy pictures.

xo

Do keep me updated on the new address.

Oh Sweet T, I ache for all of the support I did no...

2012-03-25T18:47:09.853-07:00

Oh Sweet T,
I ache for all of the support I did not offer, and for the loneliness of those first few months for you (especially)-- You are always part of my posse, and would have been no matter what. I have a feeling there are more who will say exactly the same thing. I am so glad the campfire worked for you in whatever ways, getting you to write (BRAVE) which is hard because it can break open wounds and feel seriously ouchy.

I am sending compassion to the you now, and the you then. I don't care about the space time continuum, your NICU self needs some serious love.

You've got it from me, always. Hear me? ALWAYS.

XOX
Kate

I know that my adjustment after pregnancy and into...

2012-03-25T18:41:06.461-07:00

I know that my adjustment after pregnancy and into the reality of motherhood was traumatic... I can't imagine throwing in twins and NICU and other challenges.

You are an incredibly strong woman and I am so glad that you are finding your voice again... we need all the stories.

I am so very glad that you're planning to post...

2012-03-25T17:51:50.018-07:00

I am so very glad that you're planning to post more regularly. I think that although your readership might change, writing about your life is what this whole experience is about. You'll lose some readers now that you have your family, but some readers who are still in the trenches will find hope in reading your posts about family, knowing how hard it was for you to get to that place, knowing that this whole LIFE we get is a continuum. Up & down, happy & sad, it goes around and around, and--maybe, if we write honestly--sometimes it helps to be reminded of that, as well as befriended by people who are exactly where we are.

I'm sorry it was so very very hard, and so glad that things are easing up a bit now that they're a bit older. Glad you're getting a bit of your good life back, and REALLY looking forward to hearing about it!

You're back! Yay! I have an upright carpet c...

2012-03-22T08:29:34.779-07:00

You're back! Yay!

I have an upright carpet cleaner AND a spotbot. I love the upright and shampoo the whole house at least once a year. A wonderful investment and really not expensive, considering the wonderful results. The spotbot is a real disappointment. It's nice to have something small and that you can flip on and walk away from while it cleans, but it does a shit job of sucking up all the water it puts down, so that I have to sit there with hose attachment for 5-10 minutes after it runs to get the carpet dry.

In terms of names, I keep it anonymous, but I post...

2012-03-18T20:21:11.047-07:00

In terms of names, I keep it anonymous, but I post pics all the time. I don't want my family or my in-laws to track my blog down. It's my space. Also, when I started my blog, I didn't want my employer or my staff to be able read about the inner workings of my sex life.

Like a PP said, in this age of cell phones with cameras, etc it seems kind of unrealistic to expect that our image won't be used without our permission at some point or another.

Looking forward to whatever comes next for you!

I am definitely on the side of totally anon. It s...

2012-03-18T17:00:47.121-07:00

I am definitely on the side of totally anon. It stems from my previous life working in the mental health field - I just never wanted to be found by past patients, or students that I taught. Even now as a SAHM, I keep it anon. Old habits die hard I guess. But that's just me - I actually really like to read other peoples' blogs that include pictures or video. So really, I'm an anon hypocrite!!

I don't put K's name out there, nor much o...

2012-03-18T15:05:14.852-07:00

I don't put K's name out there, nor much of mine to keep it pretty anonymous. I'm sure people who know me could easily figure it out if they stumbled across it, but I don't give my DH or my family the link. I like to think of it as my safe place to post stuff.
I feel ok putting pics of K up. I'm not sure how I feel of putting pics of me up...

So very glad you'll be at the campfire! WHOO H...

2012-03-18T12:29:59.738-07:00

So very glad you'll be at the campfire! WHOO HOOO! and I just decided to be in the world. Folks are on facebook, etc with info and images all the time. A beloved care giver used to post images of Della all the time without my explicit knowledge or consent and that freaked me out to begin with, but eventually, I came to peace with it. I just need to keep her as safe as I can no matter what anyway. WIth that, if being anon allows you to be more open about things you wan to be able to share, then do so! That is the biggie for me. A new boss found my blogs and I can't quite get over new boss+ my historical catalog of cervical mucus, but hey, that's my reality.

Babbly filled with love kate

Yeah, I'm right there with Sunny. Not REALLY ...

2012-03-18T08:16:07.528-07:00

Yeah, I'm right there with Sunny. Not REALLY anonymous, but somewhat anonymous. ie: anyone can figure out who we are if they really care, but it's not out there on every page.

I use my blog for sharing Hen-stuff with family, as well, so pictures happen, and I try not to worry too much about urcky people who might use them for urcky purposes. I figure in this day of cellphone photos, etc., posting photos isn't a real risk--any more than, say, leaving the house is. And it's important for his family to get to see him in between visits, and for all that the internet is a wide open place and anyone can visit, yaddayaddayadda, there's only so much protectiveness that's healthy, you know?

I can't wait to see where you take your blog, under whatever name you choose to use. See you at the campfire!

I am excited to see what your creative mind will c...

2012-03-18T07:48:27.763-07:00

I am excited to see what your creative mind will come up with for your new blog! Get working, woman!

I would say my blog is "somewhat anonymous." I do share pictures of the boys, obviously. Our family and friends across the country read the blog to get updates on the boys. Since I am not on Facebook, this is the only way I share what our family is up to. They often send me emails about how much they love it, so I am motivated to keep it going, even though it's kinda limping along at the moment.

I don't use our real names because I'd rather not have the blog found via a google search of them. Because of the nature of my job (when I was employed!) and the nature of DH's job, it's safest this way.

There is a risk in using pictures of my boys publicly that the pictures can be used for anyone's purpose... with good intent or not. But that is a risk I have chosen to take.

Oh, that is definitely no fun! That was us a coupl...

2012-03-02T03:36:04.779-08:00

Oh, that is definitely no fun! That was us a couple months ago. It was awful and I so sympathize. Hope you're feeling better!

PS an idea: change your blog design and see how it...

2012-02-29T10:08:00.070-08:00

PS an idea: change your blog design and see how it feels (only if you know how to go back)-- it may be that by dressing it differently, you can sort of signal a transition which allows you to go whichever direction(s) you choose. Also, IF optimist still works, you know?

Hope the barfing is done and that you are all well.

PPS Did you get my email response to yours? I'm afraid I might be spam!

Sorry about the gakking, that part sucks. But yes,...

2012-02-26T19:31:02.792-08:00

Sorry about the gakking, that part sucks. But yes, how happy not to have it have ANYTHING to do with concussions and whatnot.

XOX
kate

Hi love, I think you should write whatever you are...

2012-02-26T18:21:22.180-08:00

Hi love,
I think you should write whatever you are thinking and if you'd like to do it here,I'll be here. If you want to start a new blog somewhere else and begin again, I'll follow you there too. This really is about life, isn't it? Infertility yes, losses of a million kinds, surprising gifts from the universe, things we need to let go of, things we want to hold onto... I think that whenever you decide to write, and whatever it is at any given moment, you will find your audience.
And I know, for one, I'll be in it.

xoxo
kate

Ugh... we had that flu back before Christmas! It ...

2012-02-26T16:06:02.287-08:00

Ugh... we had that flu back before Christmas! It started with Ginny and then less than 48 hours later it hit me hard. I hope that you're all feeling better soon (and that no one else in your house gets the bug).

I've contemplated the carpet cleaner thingy too... I'll be checking back to see what others suggest

So glad you came back to your blog. I have just r...

2012-02-25T02:11:03.810-08:00

So glad you came back to your blog.

I have just recently started to write about life post-baby. I think it is a good idea to continue at this place itself...this is an evolving blog...from infertility to parenting...

You can change your blog title if you want...

And I hope you remember me - I am Wi#e#uy

I miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss you! I'm so glad you pos...

2012-02-22T15:16:45.334-08:00

I miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss you! I'm so glad you posted! Life around here is mega-insane, too, so I completely understand. Having twins is HARD, for realz. An amazing gift, I'm deeply grateful. But good lord, mama could use a rest sometimes! Whew!

I didn't start blogging until I was pregnant, so I didn't really have this issue. (I started a second, temporary blog when I wanted to focus only on our secondary infertility.) My vote is that you start a fresh blog. Can you incorporate "optimist" into it somehow, for a thread of continuity?

Glad you are back!

Hello stranger. Your girls are gorgeous by the way...

2012-02-20T21:34:19.124-08:00

Hello stranger. Your girls are gorgeous by the way!!!

I feel like I read this post a lot from bloggers I have followed for years and for each blogger, it is a personal decision. I continued at the same address but changed the name of my blog and did a post that I needed to move past what had happened and continue the original thought for the blog which was to update my family all over the world as to what was going on in our lives. Of course that is no help to you if you started your blog with other intentions, but just letting you know which way I went.

I hope you continue to write if it makes you happy. :)

Your girls are SO cute! So glad to hear from you a...

2012-02-20T12:48:57.562-08:00

Your girls are SO cute! So glad to hear from you again too.
I morphed into a mommyish blog after K was born. I've pretty much been using it as a diary for what's been going on with her, and mostly for myself. If I still have a few followers who comment from time to time, I'm happy.
Now I'm morphing back into an IF blog again as we go through an FET cycle. It is what it is, and people can read it or not as they see fit.
If you do move to another blog, please let me come along too!

I'm so glad to hear from you again! I can'...

2012-02-20T08:41:23.198-08:00

I'm so glad to hear from you again! I can't believe how big those beautiful girls are already! They look like enough to keep Wonder Woman busy.

As for blogging, I can just tell you what I've done. I just kept on blogging (with less frequency) on my same blog. I'm sure I've lost readers, but have also gained some new ones too. My focus has pretty much stayed as a mommy blog, focused on life with my daughter. I see it now as a journal of her early life, and me learning to be a mom. I guess I didn't see the need to start something new. I mean, it is still me, just writing about my life. Before my life was focused on pee sticks, now it is focused on my daughter. But it is still me.

I do hope you start to write again, I always enjoyed reading your posts. And if you do start blogging in a new place, the readers that like your writing and care about you will follow along.

Trying to decide what to do with the blog is a tou...

2012-02-20T05:13:58.959-08:00

Trying to decide what to do with the blog is a tough one! I ended up keeping the sprogblogger blog going, for all things related to Hen, but I do maintain (well, I WISH I maintained it better!) a separate blog for my writer friends who honestly don't care as much about what Henry ate today! But I'm glad I kept my 'raising a toddler' blog under the same address as my 'trying to get pregnant' blog. It's all me, and Henry and The Boy, so why shouldn't it get to stay together?

That said, I'll follow you wherever you decide to write. Glad to see you'll be around a bit more!