18w2d – Little things that bring sunshine


Well, what can I say. Ummmmmm. I’m still here. I’m at 18w2d. Monsters are still here.  Cervix measured well on Monday, still closed and long. I had a little brown spotting for the week, but we suspect this may be the old blood clot from the big bleed finally moving through the cervical os and on its way outta here. (Good riddance.) It was very strange to be far enough along that while I spotted, I didn’t have a lot of anxiety or fear attached to it.

Still waiting on the final results for the amnio.  Not terribly stressed, but it will be nice to have closure on that too.  I want to tell my grandparents and SIL and nephews and niece, but am waiting the extra week to know if it is all OK.  I mean, I can wait a freaking week, right?

shehulk It’s funny how at this stage in pregnancy I am glad, but I don’t allow myself to get overly confident or excited.  I am beginning to dream of nursery and baby item shopping, but it is too early.  I want to shout HOORAY but am waiting for 24 weeks, or 28 weeks before I feel I can really take that a breath deep enough in order to shout.  My “miscarriage signs” Google searches are now changing to “pre-term labor signs” or “incompetent cervix,” but every now and then it all swings 180°and I am suddenly looking and watching videos on double strollers and thinking things like “How in the hell can I carry two infant car seats at the same time?  I will need arms like She Hulk.” And then I stop and really think, “actually I wouldn’t mind looking like She Hulk.”

I feel little twinges and flutters every now and then, but it is very subtle.  90% of the time I don’t feel anything at all. I generally have to lay down on my side and get very calm and still.  When I focus my mind, I can feel if they move.  Other times I just lay there like a lump and eventually fall asleep because I can’t feel a thing and horizontal = naptime. Every now and then I get distinct movement and it’s like sunshine streamed on my heart.  I was sitting in the park this week, near the waterfront.  I had bought a gyro sandwich and was munching down on a bench with a fabulous view of the water and the boats and Seattle across the lake.  All of a sudden I felt Wiggles and Pips (our not-so official names for the monsters) squirming around.  I sent MrBeep a text message saying “The monsters really like love gyro sandwich with onions.”  He was happy all day and gave me lots of kisses and belly pats when he came home.  He lurves gyro sandwiches.

Sending you a little of my sunshine for your hearts too, whether they be filled with sorrow, or filled with joy or filled with hope.  We all need that sunshine some days.

18 comments on "18w2d – Little things that bring sunshine"

K on January 24, 2010 at 9:09 PM said...

yay for feeling the lil monsters :)

Thinking of you as you count down! I understand your fears and hope very soon you will be knee deep in stroller purchasing stress to the max!

WiseGuy on January 25, 2010 at 2:08 AM said...

OyO! So happy that the monsters are doing so good. I understand your consternation on telling about the news just yet, but I am so hoping that you get to 20 weeks, then 24, then 30 weeks, then......and have two bouncing happy, healthy babies at the end of this....

Thanks for the sunshine. I am in the hopeboat right now, and all the extra light is soooooo good....

Barefoot on January 25, 2010 at 3:40 AM said...

Yay for movement! It won't be long before you can't remember what "subtle" movement feels like. ;)

Anonymous said...

woo hoo for movement! I am so out of shape at this point - I have the same terror of carrying two car seats at once!

I hope you get the amnio results soon. I think we really kicked into getting prepared mode at around 20-24 weeks and I am so glad because I can barely do anything at this point..

Lisa- meinsideout - btw, would not let me post under my wordpress id...

Clare on January 25, 2010 at 5:43 AM said...

Lots of smiles from here xx

mekate on January 25, 2010 at 7:05 AM said...

OOOOOHHHH!!!
how incredibly cool!
I cannot imagine how wonderful that must be to feel them!
Actually, I'l take that back, I can imagine how wonderful it must be! I cannot wait to feel it myself with my own monster(s).

thank you for the sunshine!
XOXO
kate

Kate on January 25, 2010 at 7:11 AM said...

I hope your (of course good) results come back soon so you can shout your news from the rooftops. Glad your cervix is behaving and you're both so happy!

Andrea on January 25, 2010 at 9:11 AM said...

Congratulations on your pregnancy! How exciting to be having twins. My Doc thought I may be having twins but it was only one! Wishing you the best!

heartincharge on January 25, 2010 at 10:41 AM said...

Thanks for the sunshine. I needed it today. Very thoughtful of you to send it.

jill on January 25, 2010 at 1:26 PM said...

Happy 18 weeks! Can't wait to hear the amnio results and whether I'm right with my boy/girl guess. :) Feeling movement must be so incredibly cool!

Ann on January 25, 2010 at 3:34 PM said...

Go Monsters! How wonderful to feel their little flutters. Thank you for always sending sunshine to all of us.

The Steadfast Warrior on January 25, 2010 at 5:11 PM said...

She Hulk. Hahah!!! I think Mom's become super strong carrying babies all the time. :)

Hoping for fantastic news from the amnio so you can joyously spread your news!

Thanks for the sunshine and the smiles- always welcome.

K on January 25, 2010 at 7:48 PM said...

Oh yes....so do your stroller research then tell me what you come up with. I can't friggin decide. And I gave up imagining lifting 2 carseats. Think I'm going to go for the bjorn thingy. So happy you are feeling so well and everything is good. My nuggets get active when I eat mexican food, which is really not a lot since I don't like it. Go figure.

Kimbosue on January 26, 2010 at 8:05 AM said...

"sunhine streamed on my heart".... So precious!

Sunny on January 26, 2010 at 4:48 PM said...

I'm glad you are feeling the sunshine! That brings sunshine into my life, and God knows I'm not getting much of it right now. :)

And btw, you can't really carry two infant car seats at the same time, especially if you have a diaper bag and stuff. I don't know which car seats you are getting, but I have Graco SnugRides (love them) and I'm getting this: http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Trend-Double-Stroller-Frame/dp/B000LEI82W/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1264553061&sr=8-1

I had the single version of that with Sir Bean and it was faaabulous.

Rotten on January 27, 2010 at 9:53 AM said...

You're gonna have so much fun when you start getting into the "baby stuff buying" phase. And double the fun for you!! YAY!

Photogrl on January 28, 2010 at 1:44 PM said...

Yay for a nice, long, closed cervix!

Double yay for feeling some squirming!

K on January 28, 2010 at 4:17 PM said...

Hi....dropping by again to see if the amnio results are back. I'm sure it's not like you won't tell us! But I'm just checking. Hope all is well.

 

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