Subterfuge, dreams and decisions


First and most importantly, thank you all so much for your information and encouragement.  It was a relief to find out that many others have had the *POP* vanishing act of pregnancy symptoms and are still doing OK.  I have calmed down a little.  I would still prefer to be sick as a dog at this point because hey, that’s what all the storybooks tell you it is supposed to be like.  I know that I am unusual.  I know that I have always been the bizarre girl standing outside the pack but y’know sometimes I just wanna whine, “I WANT TO BE LIKE ALL THE POPULAR GIRLS!”  Well…not really, I do prefer being the geeky oddball surrounded by my own kind.  They get my jokes.

I tried a tad bit of personal subterfuge yesterday to trick myself into being queasy or sick.  I’ll admit my one slice of toast with PB&J did give me more indigestion than would be normal, so that made me happy.  But I thought I could erase all doubt by going out to dinner for a really fancy meal.  I figured Murphy’s Law would dictate that after an excellent pricey meal, I would have to hornk it up, right? WRONG.  But it sure was gooooooooood. In the month of November we have a tradition in Seattle called “Din.e.Around.Se.attle” where 30 super fancy excellent restaurants have fix-prix menus.  For $30 (Sun-Thurs) you get an appetizer, main course and dessert.  If you are a local and are drooling, you can read about it here

 barkingfrog
We went out to a restaurant called “The Bark.ing F.rog”.  It is a lovely place with warm colors, a tantalizing wine selection, and superb food.  MrBeep and I got different courses for appetizer and dessert, (I had toasty warm pureed chestnut and apple soup-Mmmmmm) but we both ordered the same main course (don’t freak – the glass is sparkling apple juice).   

IMG_0123 
Lamb Shank & Pappardelle Pasta, Cipollini Onions, Butter Braised Carrots,
Confit Chanterelle Mushrooms, Demi Butter Sauce

Oh, the sauce.  THE SAUCE was sooooo unctuous and rich and grab-that-last-piece-of-bread-and-sop-it-all-up-goodness. I was sure it would put me over the edge, but alas, I had to just enjoy my dinner with only the mildest tang of upset tummy afterward.  Oh well.  Hopefully the monsters just love me too much and are giving me a break, or maybe it is because they’ll want nothing but expensive gourmet chow (take these cheerio’s away Plebian!)

On other good symptoms I was ridiculously tired at 11:30 pm despite sleeping 10 hours the day before.  The nips have been mighty tender and the b00bs are, well on again/off again sore.  Not as much as right before the symptoms vanished, but not comfortable or normal either.  In fact, last night I woke up 4 times to pee (another good sign) and at one point, while lying on my stomach my b00bs hurt sooooooo much that I woke and needed to turn and sleep on my left side.  Anyway that is what I THINK happened.  I also think that I could have dreamed it.  I’m not 100% sure.  I’m having these really vivid dreams lately.  Also there has still been no spotting whatsoever.

Finally, I made a decision to not call the RE office today to discuss the symptoms disappearing on Friday since maybe they really are waxing and waning.  Frankly, there is nothing that they can do to change the outcome at this early stage.  I have decided to wait for my next scheduled ultrasound on Sunday afternoon. I will be with MrBeep all day and don’t have to face any people afterwards if the news is bad.  And isn’t learning to be patient an excellent lesson for a mom?  Maybe I will be lucky.  Getting positive news at a later stage (9w2d) is a good sign and maybe I should just try to be myself, IF Optimist, and choose to keep my heart in a place of hope.

On a much better and lighter note, Maddy wins the prize for most clever person in the universe with a post to get you ready for the holidays, The 12 Days of IUI.  Dang, that is some funny shite.

9 comments on "Subterfuge, dreams and decisions"

mekate on November 16, 2009 at 2:25 PM said...

sweetie pie, your unusualness is, of course, one of the reasons I love you so. Sorry the symptoms are still vague, but your description of sleeping, waking with sore breasts, and peeing copiously all sound great! and vivid dreaming too!
So, hang in there, I'll be crossing my fingers for you all the way to sunday and beyond. I want nothing more than for this to work out and for Auntie Kate to come and visit so you can sleep while I babysit.

xox
Kate

jill on November 16, 2009 at 2:35 PM said...

Mmm that dinner sounds delicious! and I laughed at your reasoning for going there! hehe

From what you describe I think your little monsters are still doing wonderfully. I applaud your decision to try and be calm and wait for your next appt. I'm waiting with you! :)

Sunny on November 16, 2009 at 4:27 PM said...

I'm glad you are feeling better about things now, I've been thinking about you. In two weeks you can rent a doppler and you'll be able to get that reassurance whenever you need it. Unless you are like me and seem to grow at least an inch in girth a day -- I often skip it when I look in the mirror and can visibly see evidence that they are still growing. :)

We participated in 30 for 30 two years ago when we first moved to Seattle. AWESOME! Now it involves a babysitter, so the value isn't quite as good. And I don't mind one little bit. :)

WiseGuy on November 17, 2009 at 1:59 AM said...

Well....love your blog in all its shades....and I am sending Monster good wishes to your bubbas...hope they enjoyed the dinner just like you....lovely picture and the way you presented it, well, it is just not right that I was not there! :-)

Pie on November 17, 2009 at 6:59 AM said...

Mmmmm, that dinner looks so great. I could have that for breakie right now!

I'm staying very optimistic with you, it sounds like you still have several symptoms, and they are just changes and adjusting as your body begin its adjustment to being pregnant.

K on November 17, 2009 at 9:02 AM said...

Happy you are letting the waning symptoms lie. And not that you asked, but I've never had breast tenderness to speak of through this whole thing. I think the symptom thingy is a crapshoot and you get what you get. And then only sometimes. I am even letting anxiety go, despite bleeding every day. And I did dine.around.seattle once. Went to Earth & Ocean at the W. One of my favs. Glad you could enjoy a night out. Still owe you an email, BTW. Will get my shit together one of these days. :)

Photogrl on November 17, 2009 at 10:43 AM said...

What a yummy looking dinner!

I've been having crazy, vivid dreams too, and very little symptoms.

((HUGS))

Kimbosue on November 18, 2009 at 6:49 AM said...

Sounds - and looks - fabulous! Wish they did that stuff down here!

12 Days of IUI was hilarious!

Don't stress about the symptoms!

mekate on November 18, 2009 at 9:13 AM said...

thinking of you sweetie,
and just wanted so send love.
so there.
Kate

 

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