Subterfuge, dreams and decisions

First and most importantly, thank you all so much for your information and encouragement.  It was a relief to find out that many others have had the *POP* vanishing act of pregnancy symptoms and are still doing OK.  I have calmed down a little.  I would still prefer to be sick as a dog at this point because hey, that’s what all the storybooks tell you it is supposed to be like.  I know that I am unusual.  I know that I have always been the bizarre girl standing outside the pack but y’know sometimes I just wanna whine, “I WANT TO BE LIKE ALL THE POPULAR GIRLS!”  Well…not really, I do prefer being the geeky oddball surrounded by my own kind.  They get my jokes.

I tried a tad bit of personal subterfuge yesterday to trick myself into being queasy or sick.  I’ll admit my one slice of toast with PB&J did give me more indigestion than would be normal, so that made me happy.  But I thought I could erase all doubt by going out to dinner for a really fancy meal.  I figured Murphy’s Law would dictate that after an excellent pricey meal, I would have to hornk it up, right? WRONG.  But it sure was gooooooooood. In the month of November we have a tradition in Seattle called “Din.e.Around.Se.attle” where 30 super fancy excellent restaurants have fix-prix menus.  For $30 (Sun-Thurs) you get an appetizer, main course and dessert.  If you are a local and are drooling, you can read about it here. 

 
We went out to a restaurant called “The Bark.ing F.rog”.  It is a lovely place with warm colors, a tantalizing wine selection, and superb food.  MrBeep and I got different courses for appetizer and dessert, (I had toasty warm pureed chestnut and apple soup-Mmmmmm) but we both ordered the same main course (don’t freak – the glass is sparkling apple juice).   

 
Lamb Shank & Pappardelle Pasta, Cipollini Onions, Butter Braised Carrots,
Confit Chanterelle Mushrooms, Demi Butter Sauce

Oh, the sauce.  THE SAUCE was sooooo unctuous and rich and grab-that-last-piece-of-bread-and-sop-it-all-up-goodness. I was sure it would put me over the edge, but alas, I had to just enjoy my dinner with only the mildest tang of upset tummy afterward.  Oh well.  Hopefully the monsters just love me too much and are giving me a break, or maybe it is because they’ll want nothing but expensive gourmet chow (take these cheerio’s away Plebian!)

On other good symptoms I was ridiculously tired at 11:30 pm despite sleeping 10 hours the day before.  The nips have been mighty tender and the b00bs are, well on again/off again sore.  Not as much as right before the symptoms vanished, but not comfortable or normal either.  In fact, last night I woke up 4 times to pee (another good sign) and at one point, while lying on my stomach my b00bs hurt sooooooo much that I woke and needed to turn and sleep on my left side.  Anyway that is what I THINK happened.  I also think that I could have dreamed it.  I’m not 100% sure.  I’m having these really vivid dreams lately.  Also there has still been no spotting whatsoever.

Finally, I made a decision to not call the RE office today to discuss the symptoms disappearing on Friday since maybe they really are waxing and waning.  Frankly, there is nothing that they can do to change the outcome at this early stage.  I have decided to wait for my next scheduled ultrasound on Sunday afternoon. I will be with MrBeep all day and don’t have to face any people afterwards if the news is bad.  And isn’t learning to be patient an excellent lesson for a mom?  Maybe I will be lucky.  Getting positive news at a later stage (9w2d) is a good sign and maybe I should just try to be myself, IF Optimist, and choose to keep my heart in a place of hope.

On a much better and lighter note, Maddy wins the prize for most clever person in the universe with a post to get you ready for the holidays, The 12 Days of IUI.  Dang, that is some funny shite.