2010 A New Year of Possibility


Wow.  2010.  Here I am in the year 2010.  The 2000s were years of great change in my life.  In the last decade I have moved to a new state, married my true love and best friend, shifted my career, found and bought my first home, made many new and wonderful friends.

In my mind I stand now on the road of my life with a marker reading Friday, January 1, 2010. 

It is so strange to be mentally at this place.  It is not a crossroad.  There is only one path I see before me.  Turning around is never an option.  Yet lifting my head to take the first step is daunting and proving harder than I had anticipated.  My mind swirls with possibilities of the future both good and bad.  Joyous and devastating.

I am not always an optimist.  Doubt and worry and fear creep over me.  It is the reason why I chose to write as IF Optimist, then…  I wanted a reason to focus on why my life is good, why I need to choose a place of hope in my heart.  I wanted a reason to believe in the power to keep my mind unclouded with negative things.  I hoped that power would allow me to see what is truly before me, clearly, so I can make the best decision, do the right thing, choose the best path to follow.

I suspect this will be the decade I say goodbye to my wonderful grandparents, now at 88 and 85. I know that they worry and pray for me, I will finally tell them my news in a few weeks after my next ultrasound.  I hope they will get to meet my children some day.  My children?

Will this be the the decade, I will finally go from living as part of a happy couple to a happy family?  Will I get to go from having “monsters” to babies (who will hopefully grow up to earn their name as monster)?  Will I get to the other side of this year with two babies or one or none?  Will there be cause for celebration or sorrow?  Will I be sitting on the floor in a three years, spaghettios in my hair, cleaning crayon off the wall, wondering where my professional career went and why won’t these two just take a freaking nap?  Will I walk into their room 20 minutes later, watch them dozing lazy and warm, and suddenly remember just how lucky I truly am?  Will I get to watch MrBeep grow from a hesitant first time father to a warm and loving daddy?

In my mind I stand now on the road of my life with a marker reading Friday, January 1, 2010…

…taking a deep breath, calming my mind, with sunshine in my heart and a smile brightening my cheeks, I step forward onto the path.

15 comments on "2010 A New Year of Possibility"

Clare on January 2, 2010 at 2:35 AM said...

Happy New Year lovely lady! I wish you and your monsters and Mr Beep all the best for this year. You all really deserve it and I'm sure in a few years the spaghettios and crayon scenario will be a reality, probably more often than you'd like! Thinking of you, going to be following all the time now. Big big hugs.

WiseGuy on January 2, 2010 at 4:33 AM said...

What a heart-warming post. I hope your grandparents do meet their great grandchildren....but beyond that I wish you a beautiful motherhood and a fulfilling lifetime ahead.

sprogblogger on January 2, 2010 at 4:37 AM said...

Happy New Year to you, and I sincerely wish for you all the good in this world. Spaghettios & crayons, most of all.

Kate on January 2, 2010 at 5:48 AM said...

I can't even begin to imagine how excited your grandparents are going to be, and having a couple great-grandchildren to look forward to will certainly give them a little added incentive to stick around a while longer!
I'm sure the monsters will be driving you nuts (in a good way) in a few more months...

meinsideout on January 2, 2010 at 6:58 AM said...

Happy New Year - your post really hit home with me.

Liddy on January 2, 2010 at 8:18 AM said...

Happy New Year!

Your post really hit home with me. I do hope that 2010 is 'A New Year of Possibility.

Liddy
The Braces Bunch

Photogrl on January 2, 2010 at 10:31 AM said...

Happy New Year!

I'm hoping the path of 2010 is filled with plenty of joy, laughter, and memories!

Good Egg Hunting on January 2, 2010 at 12:54 PM said...

What a lovely post -- I adore the notion of standing near a marker with yesterday's date. It's a great way to think of things. I'm not sure yet of your full story but it seems like you had some bleeding early on...I know from experience how scary this is but you're in the second trimester now and there's a lot of reason to exhale. I'm wishing you all the best as you move beyond the first-day marker of this year into the (exciting) unknown!

one-hit_wonder on January 2, 2010 at 1:43 PM said...

All the best in the new year! :)

(And yes, if I put a light in my pants I'll be sure to post a pic. Haha.)

Beautiful Mess on January 2, 2010 at 1:47 PM said...

Happy New year, love! I can't wait to follow your journey with you. All of it is so very exciting!
*HUGS*

Guera! on January 2, 2010 at 1:57 PM said...

This will be a decade of great things for you. I'm looking forward to reading along.

Mrs. Gamgee on January 2, 2010 at 9:50 PM said...

Happy New Year! I love the image of you with spaghettios in your hair!

Sending many prayers for that wonderful image to come to pass! Blessings on you, MrBeep, and your precious Monsters!

Rotten on January 3, 2010 at 6:51 PM said...

I am so excited for you and for what is in store for you guys in 2010. By the end of this year, I hope for you to be knee deep in diapers and wondering where all of your free time went... to be looking in the mirror and wondering when the last time you put make up on was... to be trying to figure out how to teach the twins to do laundry and dishes before they can even walk just so you can take a quick nap... or to be wondering what life was like before these two amazing little human beings entered your life.
Happy New Year and welcome to 2010

One Who Understands on January 4, 2010 at 8:55 PM said...

Love this post! Yes, this will be a wonderful decade, and 2010 will be your year! So much to look forward to.

Sunny on January 5, 2010 at 10:57 AM said...

A belated Happy New Year to you, wonderful lady! I see you on the floor with spaghetti-o's, surrounded by sticky fingerprints on the wall and more love than you think you can handle in your heart. All the best in 2010 and beyond.

 

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