A Broken Heart

I have sat in the corner of a room in the NICU. Filled with a vast emptiness that I just can't describe with words. Worry consumed my soul, fear gripped my heart and all I could do was quietly sob. Every day I waited by their bedside, hour after hour, quietly whispering...

"How precious you are and
how strong my little girls are and
to hold on and

Mommy loves you.
Mommy loves you.
Mommy loves you."

We got through each minute, then each hour, then each day. Little by little hope poured in to fill the void where fear had left me empty.

I remember that fear like a knife through me. The "what if The Worse were to happen" dread. I had no idea how my soul could survive.

Today I read about Wiseguy.

She lost her Lola. So wanted and so loved.

My heart is broken for her. I had a drop of rain on the shore while she has the tsnunami.

I wish I could change the world and time. I wish I could give you a hug and let you cry on my shoulder. You have given us all so much kindness and laughter and support. In your time of need we can only give you words. Wiseguy, I have left my comment of love and condolences, but it is a pale thing when surrounded by hopelessness and despair.

Please go and send her love.

5 comments on "A Broken Heart"

Clare on January 24, 2011 at 1:09 AM said...

I am so consumed by grief for her. She is such an amazing woman and like you said has given us all so much over the years. What you said echoes how I feel but am unable to put into words.

one-hit_wonder on January 24, 2011 at 10:04 AM said...

I just can't believe this happened. I've stopped asking 'why' about anything regarding babies, fertility, miscarriage, etc. And then I don't know what to think. All I can do is feel. And I feel devastated for her. Thanks for posting.

Rotten on January 24, 2011 at 12:37 PM said...

I just read her story. This is a beautiful post in tribute.

Beautiful Mess on January 24, 2011 at 7:54 PM said...

It's so hard to put into words how we are all feeling. I cry every time I think about her sweet Lola and how Wise Guy must be feeling. I'm sick to my stomach with grief and sadness for her. I've been wishing and sending her so much love, along with everyone else. I hope she can feel it.

Your words are beautiful.

WiseBursche on February 28, 2011 at 5:05 AM said...

Thank you.



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